I recently came across a piece of writing, about a man getting drowned by the sea, his friends thought he was waving, but really he was drowning...

...Then, the title inspired me, I put it into life context.

I am sure I can speak for most people when I talk about how life has ups and downs. It is a natural phenomenon which we do not have complete control over. However, we can change how these phases are seen by the people around us. We mask our emotions, which we often do to protect our family and friends from becoming upset and worried themselves. 


a lot of people pretend out of bravery that they are okay, but really they do not feel at home at all in the world, or able to make or understand friends easily.

So then they joke and laugh a lot, and people think they are okay.

But sometimes the act breaks down, and then, like the man in this piece, they are lost.

They were not waving, but drowning.

Sometimes Autism makes it difficult to understand situations which to a neurotypical person may seem 'normal'. An autistic person would get stressed out, ask questions to themselves, and become anxious...

But, they love happy feelings and sharing that amongst the people they love (friends, family, and people they know). So they hide the negativity away and act in a way which to their peers, seems normal (The 'Waving'). Sometimes this happiness is absolutely the real thing, don't get me wrong. But sometimes it may be a slightly altered reality which appears as an illusion to those observing. 

I experience this masking of emotions. So do many others. As it is an Autistic trait.

My message to you is be a 'lifeguard'. Don't be fooled in a way by the perspective you see, take an overview and keep an eye on them.

Looking out for people is something that in the long run changes things.

The experiences I have from this are the exact lessons which make me want to comfort people...

So, do you see why I, for example, ask how you are doing on a daily basis, wanting to check in on what is crackalacking? It's not only a nice act which shares a little touch of kindness, but it also helps to reinforce the truth that you are not 'drowning' which may be hidden by the illusion of 'waving'.

Love, M x

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2017 Matt Evans